Sentiment
by the ticking clock
Summary: Vulcans do not feel. But he is not fully Vulcan. Spoilers for Into Darkness.


**Not my best writing, as I am emotionally compromised by this amazing movie. Review? **

Vulcans do not have emotion.

It has been drilled into him since birth, since he had first opened his eyes and melded minds with his father, _we have logic. We do not feel. _

"I think you better get down here.'

He's running, running before his mind even has time to process what is happening, sliding down stairs, pushing past celebrating crew members-

Scotty's tear stained face pulls him up short.

And then he sees Kirk.

In a flood, the emotions that he so often chooses not to feel attack him. White hot knives of fear, grief, anger and pain stab at him, sink their vicious blades into his chest and _twist-_

He falls to his knees.

He aches, physically _aches _to meld their minds, as he had done when Pike had died. He wants to reach through the glass separating them, but he can't. He can't break it, can't open the door.

"I'm scared, Spock. How do you not feel?" The question is one that Kirk has posed many times, teasingly.

_How do you not feel? What's going on inside that damned Vulcan head of yours, Mr. Spock? _

The question this time, is not asked in jest.

His throat is tight, so tight, but he forces the words out, because Kirk needs to hear them. "I don't know..." His eyes burn, and somewhere in his mind a voice whispers that he is crying. He doesn't want to cry, _it's not logical, _but-

He is not acting logically now.

"But right now-" He swallows, hard. The burning has spread to his throat now. _Sobbing, _his mind provides the explanation immediately; he ignores it. "I _feel." _

They whisper something that he doesn't really hear, except the words, "I want to tell you why I came back for you."

"Because you're my _friend,_" the words have never had so much meaning. _Friend, friend, friend. _Why hadn't he appreciated it before?

_Vulcans do not have emotion. _

But he is half human.

And he feels. Emotions ache and tear and burn in his chest, his head, his heart, ripping and sawing and he has never felt this before, not even when Vulcan burned-

It happens to fast, to soon. He presses his hand to the glass, screams, like he had screamed his mother's name in a frantic burst of emotion, such powerful, _human _emotion, "Kahn!"

* * *

He has never felt such anger.

Not when those Vulcan boys had insulted his mother, not when he had almost killed Kirk, so long ago, not when he'd been helpless to save his planet-

_Nothing _like this.

He chases Kahn through the city, and when they finally catch up with each other he does not think logically, he does not consider strategy.

In the heat of the moment they are simply two animals, clashing together.

He barely feels the blows, barely feels the snap of flesh connecting with bone, the harsh wind tearing at him as he rolls-

He feels those _hands _digging into his skull, twisting-

_It hurts, it hurts, it hurts-_

Shoving his fingers to the man's temple, he melds their minds together and pours all of his pain and anger and _emotion _into his thoughts. They scream-

And they are fighting again, falling and screaming and wrestling like tom cats over a female. But it is so much more than that. Spock wants to end this man like he has never wanted anything.

_I feel anger for the one who took Mother's life. An anger I cannot control. _

_ I believe that she would say...do not try to. _

So he lets his anger rule his senses, let's it flow through his arms into his fists, let's it guide his hoarse yells that are half sobs and the blows he rains down on this man.

Somewhere, he hears Uharu shouting. She's stunned Kahn, but Spock does not let up his relentless attack. His anger and his grief are too strong-

"Spock! It's the only hope we have of saving Kirk!"

_Kirk. _

His head snaps up. Their eyes lock, and he sees the truth in her terrified face and the desperate shaking of her hands. "We need him alive, Spock."

* * *

He waits by Kirk's bedside for two weeks.

Of course, he has other duties. The logical thing would be to take care of his crew and the ship, as first officer.

But he is not thinking logically.

In the end, there are a thousand things he wants to say to his friend(_friend, friend, friend, friend_ he will never take that word for granted again) but in the end Kirk silences him with a smile, and all he can say is, "You are welcome, Jim."

_Vulcans do not feel emotion. _

But he is not full Vulcan.

_You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this. And for you. _

And he _feels. _


End file.
